Gender Confusion
by Garius
Summary: Wait a second Shuichi, you are a chick? - An innocent game of hide n' go seek reveals more about Shuichi than Ryuichi had ever imagined. Now complete.
1. Hide n' Go Seek

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation. Nope. Not at all.

A/N: It has been a curious idea rolling around in my head.. Please review and I'll supply you with more fodder for reading.

**---**

**Gender Confusion**

_People often wonder what it is like to be with superstar novelist Eiri Yuki._

_They think, wouldn't it be nice to be in that singer Shuichi Shindou's shoes?_

_Wouldn't it be nice to be loved by someone so sexy, kind, and rich?_

_But they don't know Yuki. He isn't kind at all!_

**"Yuki.. where are you going? Come on Yuki, tell meeeee!" **A rather flamboyant Shuichi entered the scene, arms spread out to exaggerate some point only he needed to exaggerate. **"Shouldn't I know? I'm your lover right? It isn't fair that I don't get to know!"**

A dark glare was sent in the direction of the young singer from a mister Eiri Yuki, who like always, was pretty annoyed with Shindou's actions. What a bothersome eyesore Shuichi could make himself when all he wanted was some peace and quiet. **"Being your lover has nothing to do with you needing to know where I'm going twenty-four seven. Besides, maybe with me going means you get a gift." **The man joked cruelly, knowing full and well that the boy would jump all over it.

Shuichi practically beamed at his love's words. Gift? When had he last received a gift from Eiri?! Was it quite possible that he had broken through yet another layer of onion the man had wrapped himself all up in?! Could it finally be true that Yuki thought him worthy of gift-giving?! He smiled ecstatically for the other, arms held out to give a stranglehold hug only to common of the boy.

**"Yuki! I'm so happy! Is it tru-" **The over hyperactive singer took a quick glance around the room for his partner. **"Yuki..?"**

_Of course. Of course he'd just leave._

_I mean, I should have expected that._

_But, here I keep thinking that he'll treat me just a little better._

_Is that so hard to ask?_

There was no point in getting down on this latest development, but he couldn't help it. "**The fourth time..!**" Shindou whined, frustration overtaking his pretty facial features. **"The fourth time this week and it is only Tuesday!"** The boy sniffled, turning away from the spot his lover had just been standing. Sometimes he wished he was strong enough to drop Yuki and just give up on the cold novelist, but he knew it was impossible. For all the pain the twenty-something year old man gave him- when they made love.. **"Ugh! I HATE YOU YUKI!"**

This time a rough sigh escaped his peachy lips as Shuichi began his crawl towards the restroom for a little freshen up.

**---**

**"We're going to see Shuichi today, Kumagoro! Doesn't that just make you happy? It makes me happy**!" A delighted Ryuichi Sakuma gave a loud smile to the pink stuffed bunny, his arms extending the toy above its owner's face. **"Don't you think he will be happy to see us too?"** He smiled again at the creature before placing it on top of his head for safekeeping. No amount of running or jumping could remove the plush once it had settled there. **"I hope he likes these cool tickets I got from K.."** As if summoning the two tickets out of thin air- the man's sapphire eyes gave them a once over in examination.

**Klub Karaoke**

**Emit One**

Come Join In

On the Newest Rage

Sweeping the Nation!

**Sing with Your**

**Loved Ones!**

Apparently, it was some new popular karaoke joint in Japan. Real nice, fancy, expensive, and you had to buy tickets months in advance. Honestly, he didn't know what all the rage was about, but the last part had him hooked. _Sing with your loved ones._ Now that was something to rage about.

Ryuichi grinned in silent joke to himself as he approached the building Eiri Yuki and Shuichi Shindo lived in together. Ever carefully, the idol reached into pocket of his black leather jeans, pulling out the tiny metal key he had bribed Tohma into handing over. It was so worth putting in a couple extra working hours writing another few songs for his former keyboardist to market off to Japan if he got to see Shindou for the entire day. The entire day! Just thinking about it brought the life back into him.

Without further ado, the thirty-two year old man twisted the key into the lock and let loose with a wild scream as the door flew open.** "SHUICHI! RYUICHI IS HERE TO SEE YOU!" **And- and..

No reply.

**---**

_"…Umarekawari no anata yo hitori hohoemanaide hitomi o irodoru  
Nozonda sekai ga totsuzen hai ni natte mo kiseki wa mada megurikuru_

_Todokanu hikari no yukue azayaka ni mau omoi o egakou  
Michibiku kotoba ga koborete shimawanu you ni utsuru toki o osorenaide…"_

Shrouded halfway in steam, the figure of Shuichi Shindou sang the words to Ryuichi Sakuma's immensely popular song Sleeping Beauty as the young idol showered. It brought back good memories of the first time Shindou saw the group Nittle Grasper play after their three-year break. Not even the span of time could stop them from rocking out! In a way it made the youth jealous, but to see the god Ryu play live and in person.. A shiver of delight ran up Shu's spine at the thought. Even if Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper were rivals, Ryuichi would never lose his place as the one and only rock god.

**---**

**"Shuichi?" **The singer called, darting in between rooms to find the younger boy. It was no secret to Sakuma that the romance novelist was gone, so he didn't bother not destroying the house while searching for his loving friend. **"Shuichi!?"** Ryu cried again, checking under the sink for good measure as he explored the kitchen. **"Aww, Shuichi, are you playing hide n' go seek? Me and Kuma will find you!"**

With an ease that shouldn't belong to a thirty year or so man, each room was thoroughly examined over in a matter of seconds. Although the bathroom from which singing could clearly be made out behind, apparently had been missed. Ryuichi paused his frantic search to scoot closer to the wooden door. **"That's my song.."** he muttered, placing his ear to the frame. **"And that's Shuichi's singing.."**

Standing at the doorframe for a few seconds, Sakuma could hear the young boy get ready to switch tunes for another one. With a whopping grin, the elder singer grabbed the handle, throwing the bathroom door asunder. **"SHUICHI ARE YOU TAKING A NICE AND RELAXING SHO-"** Immediately the man's vocal cords clamped shut as he caught glimpse of his naked friend. It was not like that wasn't to be expected but..!

The door swung back on its hinges, closing the space between the lead singers.


	2. Got Boobies?

_Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah!_

_Shuichi's got boobies?_

_And not a dick?_

_How did I miss THAT?_

Ryuichi's hand hadn't moved from the position it had been in from swinging the door open. Nor was the relatively stupid display of utter shock wiped from his facial features. It could be said though, who wouldn't be open-mouthed and shell-shocked when you find out one of your good friends for roughly two years, was actually a small-chested girl? When did **that **happen?

He couldn't help but stand there outside the door, quietly calculating the chances of this unusual situation. The rock star might not have been considered smart, but even a genius wouldn't have seen this coming.. right? All those posters of a flat Shuichi's chest that he had to bribe Tohma so many different times into getting for him.. Moreover, it wasn't even Shuichi's chest? How. In. The. Hell..?! Was this like some crazy romance fanfic or something?! Did Shu honestly hold mystic powers of gender bending?! But, hell, maybe this could have been a trick with the steam! Maybe he had imagined the whole deal. How often had he spent thinking about Shuichi's body anyway? It could have just been shock at finally seeing the real deal. It really could have been.. that..

**---**

_Oh. My. God._

Jaw dropped would be the correct term for Shuichi's predicament. Jaw dropped and positively unnerved at Ryuichi Sakuma- **the **Ryuichi, rock god one and only, seeing his- or rather- her naked frame. There would be no denying it now. How could one deny an eyewitness? Nevertheless, what could she do? Nothing! Just nothing! And that scared her the most. Would Sakuma hate her for hiding her true gender? It was about the biggest scandal to hit since the affair of Eiri Yuki and male Shuichi Shindou. But really, it hadn't been meant, but still done!

**---**

_Okay._

_Do I sit out here or go in?_

_I mean if Shuichi IS a girl, that'd be wrong, right?_

_But I'm curious.. should I go look?_

Still internally debating whether to enter the room or not, Ryuichi's decision was made for him. Suddenly and without warning, the door burst forward, missing the singer's head by a few centimeters. Furthermore, before a grasp on the situation could be obtained, Sakuma's world was flipped and found to be roughly a hundred pounds heavier on his chest.

"**Sakuma-san you gotta understand I didn't mean to lie!"** The girl stammered out. It was becoming increasingly obvious of her stress, but more so that this _was _Shindou.

"**I mean, I guess this is some really super big lie.. But if you knew the reasons.."** From his position on the floor and the Bad Luck singer on his chest, he could feel her quiver as if about to hysterically laugh or cry.

"**Will you ever forgive me, Sakuma-san? I really didn't want to lie to you!" **Shuichi gazed down at Ryu with the saddest lilac eyes that he had ever found to be on her face. Even after what Yuki had put her through on a day-to-day basis, she had never looked so tragically hopeless until it was at betraying her 'idol'. **"Sakuma-san?"**

The way her soaked pink locks wrapped around those rosy cheeks..

The smooth skin of her soft thigh and how droplets of water rolled easily, temptingly down it..

That look of utter stunning sadness that just made him want to kiss those lips and make it all better..

"**Sakuma..?"**

Suddenly Ryuchi reached up with both arms, grabbing hold of the lithe female singer by the back of the head and her left shoulder. He pulled her onto him, sealing their embrace with a kiss. **"Shu-chan," **the male muttered between pressing his lips to the girl's lips. **"I'm.. I'm sorry.. I got carried away."** Removing himself from underneath the stunned girl, Sakuma checked the damage caused from the water dripping off Shuichi; not because he was vain, but so he wouldn't have to see the effects of not being able to restrain his self-control.

How had he blotched things up quickly?! All he had wanted was a date with Shindou!

**---**

_My god, Ryuichi Sakuma, got carried away?_

_The man who can do no wrong?_

_The man whom I've absolutely adored since junior high?_

_With __**me**__..?_

_Carried away. With me._

_WHAT?!_

What could have been said after what happened? She could see the red tint of a blush underneath the strands of dark hair Ryu had framing his handsome face. He must have been embarrassed for acting how he did, but.. it wasn't as if she hadn't liked it. On the contrary, to be kissed by the great Nittle Grasper singer himself! It was like a privilege, an honor, every girl and boy's dream! (And if Yuki were to find out, that was about all she had down in answer.)

"**It is really okay, Sakuma-san.."** the girl muttered, adjusting the towel in nervous behavior. **"I didn't mind.."** Noting her words of encouragement brought her idol's eyes up to her height, Shindou passed the other a soft smile. **"It is weird to be comforting you, Sak-"**

"**Ryuichi." **The man replied, studying his fellow singer's face. **"No more Sakuma-san stuff, Shuichi, you make me sound like an old man."** His voice had taken a turn for serious, marking a noticeable difference in his facial expression from cute to downright sexy and intimidating. **"And you shouldn't say things you don't mean. Shouldn't you mind me kissing you?"** He couldn't help staring at her now, watching how her mouth twitched at his complaint. Of course she really minded, she had that Yuki-ass to please all the time.

"**But I really didn't.." **Shuichi muttered, unable to meet his intense gaze. Did he really think she was lying about this?

Ryuichi paused, changing his tactic. If she was going to be a pain about this and wouldn't just break him of ever attempting anything else he'd invoke it.. **"Prove it."**

'_Come on, Sakuma-san! I might have lied about my gender, but not about this!'_ Her mind screamed, unable to take the thought her idol thought she was sprouting bullshit. **"Fine then. I'll show you."** Grasping the rock god's arm, she pulled him forward into a warm embrace. One hand touched the male's cheek, the other was placed gently under his chin to tilt his head forward. Hearing the man gasp in alarm, Shindou's lips found home on the perfect oval shape his mouth made.


	3. Blackmail

A/N: I might get the fourth chapter out tonight. Just felt the change in location would be weird.

**---**

Ryuichi smiled, practically beamed in pure joy. Boy or girl, Shuichi had the softest of all lips he had ever experienced. She could have entered a kissing contest and put all the lip-licking suckers to shame. So in his head, it was worth a try suggesting his next big item on his brand spanking new to-do-with-Shuichi list: going on a date! (And yes spanking was up there too.)

After all, Shuichi had proven she would kiss him, so that must mean she preferred over Eiri, right? **"Go on a date with me**." The man stated bluntly, shifting away from the girl so he could examine her face. **"You can hold Kuma if** **you'd like!"** As if by calling the name of his bunny, he summoned the bunny from the depths of hell, for which the legendary rock god passed it along to the toweled girl. **"So what do you say? Yes? I'd love to go on a date with you, Ryu-chan?" **He frowned a tad, uncertainly kicking in. **"You can call me that too, Shuichi.. "**

_This is bad!_

_Shu hasn't said a word!_

_She's just sitting there in her little white towel, with that blank stare!_

_Did she like pass out or something.._

_Wait, she hasn't, right? Oh come on, Shuichi, answer!_

_You're freaking me out!_

"**Ummmmmmmmmm.."** was about all the reply he got before Shuichi's cheeks were as hot red as cherries and red wine. The female singer stood up suddenly, towel fluttering about her hips. **"I'm sorry, Sakuma-san, but I just can't do that to Yuki!"** She gave a series of fast pace bows the male's way, each time uttering out another sorry. At the end, she turned her attention away from him, setting up to make a dash for it. A foot was lifted in attempt.

"**Yes, you can."** Sakuma muttered; his hand wrapped around the bottom edge of her towel. His face was directed at her, both eyes held in sharp slits. Again she could feel his seriousness creep around her and force her to stop and listen. When he looked like that, it gave her chills. **"Because I'm not asking you, I'm forcing you."**

Did she know that this was killing him inside? That he had no desire to be mean like this? Couldn't she just forget about that asshole?! **"You are only popular with all those girls because they think you make hot manly sex with that **_**Eiri**_** guy. If they found out you were really a girl, you'd lose a lot of your fan base wouldn't you? So get dressed, let's go, and I won't tell a soul."** He frowned, his gaze growing more intense for it. She knew what the exposure meant, so it wasn't like she could go and say no.

"**No."**

"**No?"** Well, that was stunning. This leaking would ruin her career as a singer!

"**I wouldn't do that to Yuki, Sakuma-san.. If all those reporters got a picture of me and you, they'd make it into some big deal and he'd hate me forever.."**

Ryuichi stared at her, unable to grasp the concept of what Shindou was spouting. Worry over news people getting their photo? Worry of being hated forever by the bastard? It wasn't even that he'd be going on a date with her? Him threatening her with blackmail? She didn't care about losing her career? He had to hand it to Shuichi, she was a tough nut to crack.

"**Dress like a girl then. Wear a wig. It'd be nice to be the real you in public wouldn't it? If they take our photo, no one will know any better. Not even your **_**friend.**_**"** He put emphasis on the word friend, his bitterness overcoming him. **"So what do you say, deal?" **Like she had a say, Ryuichi was feeling stubborn.

**---**

_How did I get roped into this again?_

Shuichi Shindou stood dressed in the most girlish of outfits she'd worn since elementary school. It was of white color with pink strawberries and their green stems, all fit in a dozy number of a dress. It had thin straps and cut out to show quite a lot of her bare neck. The waist was drawn in and the skirt of the dress flowed outwards to highlight the little amount of hips Shuichi did own. But not only was her dress added, there were pink strawberry extensions that collected themselves over the girl's shoulders. They had a certain curl to them and looked just as place as the entire look- cute and natural.

"**It looks really good on you, Shu-chan."** The elder man repeated for the third time that hour. He couldn't help but stare at the way her collar bone stood out from her flesh and how her skin seemed to glow. Although he could admit to liking Shuichi a lot, only now did their age become an apparent problem in his eyes. A thirty-three year old with a twenty year old who could have easily passed as a sixteen year old girl? There was something to be said there.. **"Kuma agrees." **He passed his female friend a quick thumbs up.

"**I'm glad you came."** Ryuichi piped in, grasping her hand as part of the _date's _rules.

Shuichi turned to him, wrinkling her nose at his compliment. **"So where are we going?"**

He nodded, searching the pockets of his jeans. **"Well I got these tickets from K the other day, and I thought you might like to go." **Finding the pair, he handed them over with his free hand.

"**Klub Karaoke? Come join in on the newest rage sweeping the nation? Sing with your loved ones?"**

Ryuichi nodded again.

"**So karaoke?"** Shindou glanced up at him after checking out the tickets. **"I love karaoke.."**

"**And I love you, Sh-" **Ryu paused, noting his mistake by the alarmed look on the girl's face. **"Shoes. I love you, shoes! That's what I was going to say, Shu-chan! I just adore my shoes and my Kumagoro. Yep. That's all I was going to say." **He gave her the biggest fake grin he could manage.

"**Ryuichi-san?"** The girl finally replied, diverting Ryu's attention away from his blunder. **"Um, does that Klub Karaoke place look like a giant love motel?"**

"**I wouldn't know, why do you ask?"**

"**Because that giant love motel says Klub Karaoke." **Shuichi added, pointing at the neon lit building. There were non-discreet hearts plastered all over the building's side, banners waving the word 'love', and a metal plate on the wall reading the hourly rate for karaoke and the 'special'.

'_Well that would explain the expense.'_ Ryuichi thought, feeling a literal sweat drop coming on. How in the hell had he chose a love motel for a first date! About to explain, Ryu was left with an open mouth.

"**Well you paid for those tickets didn't you? I'm sure they still have good karaoke and you shouldn't waste all that money on me.."** Shuichi smiled gently at him, coaxing him to keep going. **"It'll be fun! Maybe they'll have a bed to jump on while we sing!"**

He couldn't help but smile at that comment, and even laugh a little. Shuichi was right, jumping on a bed while singing was a lot of fun! When had he gotten to last do that? Ten, twenty years? **"Alright, Shu-chan," **the elder man replied, pulling her towards the entrance. **"Let's go sing!"**


	4. Larger Than Life

The room was rather large for that of a karaoke joint. It included not only a loveseat couch, but a king bed and other bedside furniture. Everything that came in pink, came in pink. If it didn't come in pink, it came in red or white. To put it point blank, this was a love motel room that had probably seen many people under those pink hearted sheets playing the horizontal piggy back ride. But all of that didn't matter to the two as they played their hearts out singing songs on a rather extensive collection, including favorites from an American boy band, the Backstreet Boys.

One such song, Larger Than Life, Ryuichi Sakuma was rocking up.

_~"..Looking at the crowd,  
And I see your body sway, c'mon.  
Wishin' I could thank you in a different way, c'mon.  
Cuz all of your time spent keeps us alive.."~_

At the end, the song had Shuichi up and clapping for his rock god's performance. Even if it was someone else's song, Ryu could make the artist weep in envy. **"Wow, Ryuichi-san, I wish I could do THAT! I mean it was even in English! How do you do it?"** The girl flipped from her sitting position on the couch to lean over the edge and get closer to her singing rival. A smile was pressed on her peachy lips, her face a mausoleum of impressed gratitude.

"**Years of practice." **The man replied before setting the karaoke microphone on the table the TV sat on. **"English isn't terrible to learn when you are surrounded by it." **He moved around the couch to sit on the other side of Shindou. To follow his presence, the girl flipped back over to watch him plop down. **"Besides, I bet you could do it too."**

"**But, when you sing, you've got all this soul! I bet I'm boring to watch while I sing. You probably can make nursery rhymes into hard core rock! I just wish I could sit here all day and watch you. You are so fantastic!" **Shuichi stopped her praising chatter for a second to blush at him.

"**I actually had the hugest crush on you when I was in junior high.. I have so many posters and videos.. My cds are numerous! You were my entire world back then."** She smiled, unconsciously moving a bit closer to her idol. **"I remember my first concert of you and how Hiro had to force me away from the stage because he said I was freaking out all the other concert goers.."**

All though her rant Ryuichi watched her and how she awkwardly brushed back strands of hair out her face to give him a sideways glance. Did she notice she was teasing him? Giving him a view of her gentle collarbone and her soft earlobe? The fact her eyes sparkled when she was being bashful? Did she notice that she was giving him a serious Lolita complex?

"**And the time I failed this class because I was working my ass off to get tickets for following Nittle Grasper when they were on tour.. Uh, Ryuichi-san, are you okay?"**

Her skin looked so smooth and soft.. She was beautiful, girl or boy. He had always thought that from the time he first saw her. And when he heard _her_ sing, Ryu knew she had to be his. They would have been perfect.. But that man she loved ruined it all. And he never treated her right! It just made Ryuichi's blood boil when he thought about how Eiri smacked about his lover. It was one thing when Shu was a boy, but now him being a girl and being abused..

"**Why do you love him, Shuichi? What has he ever done for you? I mean, you always complain about Eiri, why don't you just find someone who won't hurt you like he does?"** Ryuichi pulled in closer to the girl so that their bodies were facing each other and they had only a few inches apart. **"I could love you better than he does, Shu-chan. I wouldn't ever hurt you."** He moved in further so that their noses barely touched. **"Just give me a try.."**

Shindou's arms wrapped around Ryuichi's neck; her right hand found solace in her god's brown hair, the other clinging on to the fabric of Sakuma's shirt. Her lips found haven on the man's mouth, pressing and nipping desperately at them. She barely got out the squeaky words between kisses, **"Your singing inspired me and made me who I am."**

'_Inspired you to act like a boy?' _Ryuichi's mind muttered in answer, his lips too caught up in action to reply back audibly.

"**And,"** she stated, breaking the kiss to finish her sentence. **"I am tired of Yuki being such an ass to me. Ryuichi-san.. Do you love me?"** Shuichi gazed at her idol, both hands still attached to him.

"**Shu-chan.." **Ryuichi replied, his lips still stinging from the girl's touch. **"Yes, I do love you."**

She smiled once, and then gently pushed him closer to her again. **"Then you,"** the girl muttered, removing her hand from the grip on Ryuichi's shirt to his left hand.

Without meeting any resistance, Shuichi slowly moved his hand on her shoulder. She hooked the dress's strap around his fingers, giving him the option of doing what he wanted to do. Without further ado, she picked up her hand and placed it on the man's slender waist after lifting his shirt up part ways. Her mouth traveled to his ear lobe, warming up and tickling the soft skin from her breath. **"-can have me."**


	5. Can't Be

_Woah, wait!_

_Just like __**that**__?_

_She isn't going to try and disagree?_

_No resistance whatsoever?_

_Does that mean she really cares for me?_

_Or am I just blind to something here?_

He could feel her tongue searching the shape of his earlobe. It was warm – almost hot – and so tantalizing. This must have been a joke. Did her feelings for Yuki only go this deep? Did he finally hit Shuichi's brain with all this forget Yuki?

Oh, but how hard it was to think now.. Her lips traveled against the curve of his chin to rest on his bobbing Adam's apple. Such soft pleased sighs the girl made that he could lose himself in.. but he had to stop.. this..

"**Ryu,"** she murmured in lusty tones, her hand slipping further up his shirt to feel the warm skin underneath. **"It's okay. You can have me if you want me."**

He couldn't reply, his mouth clamped shut. All those months he wanted this! He wanted her! But not like this.. Shuichi..

"**If you are scared, that's okay. Let me make you feel good, Ryuichi."**

She smiled easily at him from her position at bottom. It was as if she was used to having a lover be so unaffectionate. With gentle movements, she removed the hand from his hair to his other side. She slid her fingers up the t-shirt he had been wearing, tugging it over his head to reveal his thin, but somewhat hardened chest.

This was so wrong! Ryuichi's mind kept screaming at him. Just like that? Why? Did she think he deserved her pity for him loving her? Was that the game? What was she thinking? Did she ever think?

'_And stop,' _he moaned inside, his body becoming rigid under the vicious attack of the girl's lips on his. _'Stop this! Stop her!'_ He couldn't help it. He was human too, wasn't he? Why did he have to stop when it felt so incredibly **good**? Why couldn't he be Ryuichi the bad guy and just let her suck him off? Let him have his way with her? Touch those wonderful boobies he had never thought she'd have. Just this..

Her soft moist tongue lingered below his navel after trailing nips and bites down his stomach. Her fingers struggled to unbuckle his fly. Could he really honestly do this to her? Let her fuck him? Would she even like him in the morning? Would she even still care when she got Yuki back..?

"**SHU-CHAN! I GOTTA TAKE A DUMP!"**

It was one way to stop Shuichi in her tracks. She stared at him alarmed, but concerned. Before he slid off the couch and into the bathroom, he could have sworn the look to be almost glad.

_Glad._

Ryuichi stared at himself in the bathroom mirror noting various welts from Shuichi's lips. Hickies, if he had to name them. Most guys would have worn them as victory badges, but at that moment, it disgusted him.

They weren't meant for him. They were Yuki's! All her bullshit over Ryuichi having her were lies! She didn't want him.. she wanted Yuki.. she wanted a bastard..

His eyes squeezed shut as the tears began to leak out. Why had he thought this was a good idea? He could see now that he had been stupid. Fighting for a lost cause. The female singer he loved might as well have turned him down. To be used like this hurt so much more.

Before he knew it, his head was between his knees as he sat on the toilet. It felt so shameful to be used like this. To think that the girl he loved could like him back. But no, not for Ryuichi. He was getting older, unloved, and completely exhausted from showbiz. All it brought was pain. But – if he had never met Shuichi – life would have been so much more..

**---**

"**Ryuichi..?"** Two purple eyes stared at him, soft gazing and gentle. They were beautiful, just like the girl sporting them. **"Are you okay?" **She had been on her knees kneeling before him, but soon adjusted herself so both her hands were on Ryu's lap. **"Don't cry, Shuichi's here."**

It took a moment for his sore eyes to adjust back to the light. He must have fallen asleep sobbing. His back was killing him.

"**Smile, Ryu-chan! Don't cry. You look so sad when you cry.."**

He stared at her behind puffy eyes. Why was she doing this? He just didn't understand her.

"**I waited for half an hour, but you didn't come out. I didn't know if you were mad at me or.."**

"**Shuichi," **Ryuichi asked, his voice trembling. **"-why didn't you put up any fight over Yuki-san? You say you love him, but-"**

She stiffened, so it obviously hurt to hear. **"But you said you loved me so I wanted to give you a try. I do love him, but it is like loving an unemotional rock. I'm sorry if I hurt you."**

He blinked at her, his face switching between sadness to a hint of joy. She was trying for him! Then back to sadness. He ruined that! **"Waaaaaah! Shuichi, I'm sorry too!"** His childish side whined, grabbing her to pull close into a hug. How had he been so stupid? She was such a nice girl.

"**Ah, Ryu-chan,"** Shuichi asked timidly after a few minutes of warm bear hugging. **"Do you still want to try..?"**

The great and mighty Ryuichi stood up, hands clenched at his side in victory. Of course he was willing to try. With one quick jab, he grabbed the back of her dress and pulled the girl back into the karaoke bedroom. **"DO I EVER!"**

**---**

A/N: Next stop, sweet loving. =]


	6. Sweet Smuttings

A/N: Smut. Smut. And more smut. This is perhaps the most smutty smut thing I have ever wrote. So enjoy, weirdos. (You freaks.)

**---**

'_..Ooh I want you, I don't know if I need you but  
Ooh I'd die to find out  
Ooh I want you, I don't know if I need you but  
Ooh I'd die to find out..'_

Like from the lyrics of I Want You by the 90s band Savage Garden, Ryuichi felt a considerable desire to be close to his Shuichi - to feel her soft skin, her wet lips, and the gentle warming sensation of her breathing. She was so beautiful unclad, her pale flesh heated to the touch. So gorgeous and luscious she was when she craned her neck to press unbearably sweet kisses against his forehead. So irresistibly lovely and attractive she became when her hands searched the slopes of his back, nails scraping ever gently against the skin as if at any second he would just let go.. So hot, fires burning in those gleaming amethyst eyes..

How he had never had something so wonderful as she in his thirty-three years, he would never know.

And he didn't care, because at that moment, he was having her: the golden prize of his life.

"_Shuichi.."_ the male mumbled, his mouth bruising the flesh at her prized collarbone. _"You are such a beautiful woman.."_ His hands, which worked tenderly at the girl's breasts, barely soothed their ache to be touched. _"I want to be with you forever."_

'_And why couldn't we?' _The back of her mind replied, lulled into dreamy fantasies by the Nittle Grasper singer's loving words.

"_Wouldn't it be fantastic?"_ He asked, his lips searching the area in the middle of her chest as his hands worked their subjects obediently. _"By candlelight, every night?"_

She smiled into his brown fluffy hair, refusing to end the game he played.

"_I could sing to you every night and you could have every morning, Shu-chan."_ He glanced up once to smile at her before returning his lips to the bare flesh at her stomach. _"And we could live happily ever after."_ Slowly, he removed his right hand from her breast to place it on her thigh. With gentle motions, he soothed the skin, only rubbing hard enough as to feel relaxing.

The girl sighed airily, letting Ryuichi's loving touch take over the rest of her numbing senses.

"_If you want me to stop, say so." _The male last warned, his attention from the stomach lowering to her uncovered abdomen. His hand moved towards her inner calf, each inch closer bringing on fresh chills for the girl. Hearing no reply to his words, Ryuichi brought his mouth down to her knee, kissing the cap with gentle presses. Still, no audible response besides a soft, pleased shake of the head as she tried to desperately keep in any sounds.

Without rushing, his lips trailed the length up her thigh, stopping within a kiss's length of her precious area. Perhaps without her permission, the girl's toes flexed and tensed, urging the kisses to go just a little further. He smiled at that, but dismissed the reaction without a second more of thought. At a sluggish, teasing rate, he started on her other knee, kissing the cap and working back up.

"_Ryu-"_ The girl squeaked in a soft and disgruntled voice. Her teeth were embedded into the peachy flesh of her bottom lip, trying to keep her voice in. It was obviously failing.

At his position, he saw her move her hands to her mouth. With a grin, he pulled away his left palm from her breast, placing it at her thigh. He stroked the skin once in anticipation, leaving it to rest just clear of her area. With a final check to her facial features, Ryuichi used his thumbs to spread the dear girl's lips apart.

Apparently her hands weren't good enough to contain the sharp intake of breath.

After a momentary pause (he felt that any sound she made at this point deserved some punishment), he tenderly lowered his tongue to the pink, wet looking flesh. He gave a test lick first, his tongue grazing over her clit to listen for any more unwelcomed squeaks. Finding that she improved the sound barrier between her lips and fingers, he gave a few more lingering licks to the exposed flesh. She had certainly improved her technique, but that would not rile him.

Taking his right hand from holding her open, he licked his index finger along with the middle one. She gave him a startled look, but otherwise no reply. He smiled once at Shuichi, his attention drawing quickly back to the work ahead. Without much warning, the male slipped his slickened fingers in her, feeling the warmth almost instantaneously. She might have squeaked, but his heart had sped up to almost a deafening rate. It was warm and moist, and tight by the feel of it. It brought up a series of seriously lustful acts in his mind, each transferred to his fingers as he slowly began to pull them out of her. He knew she must have been thinking it too when he felt her rock against his hand as he pushed the fingers back in.

'_Does that feel good?'_ He almost teased and would have hadn't he been so ready to take her then and there. She was so warm and lovely..

"_Ryu."_ She didn't even bother disguising the lust in her voice. _"Take me.. please.."_

He glanced up at her, his face sharing the same hopeless qualities her face held. Oh, he would have done exactly what she wished had he not been waiting so terribly long for this. He wanted the wait to stretch out until she could not bear the thought of not having him.

"_Please.."_

Ryuichi could hear her gasp as he removed his fingers from her. He brought them to his lips, licking every inch over to make sure not a single drop of her juices remained. It must have felt like forever to the female, watching him work the fingers so and not be in contact with her. Ever the calm and collected solider, he fought through his own lust to make the wait stretch on and on..

"_Ryuichi, I love you.. Please take me.. Make me all yours, forever and ever.."_

He could hear the slight beg in her voice, the way her eyes gained such intense longing for him. She didn't even bother to cover her mouth anymore. Both hands were reaching out for him, trying to gain attention and his bodily warmth. She wanted it, needed it at this point. He was hers in her mind. Now all he had to do was claim his reward.

Ryuichi moved his body so that it hovered above the girl. He moved one hand to her cheek, soothing the wild longing in her eyes. _'Fine,'_ his body replied to her own. '_Give yourself to me._' With one arm he pulled her legs from their position at his sides to around his hips, letting her make the necessarily adjustments to fit comfortably.

The male slid in easily enough, the girl's juices making for great lubricant. It was a warm, coaxing feeling to be inside of her and took a lot of strength to suppress a moan.

"_I love you, Ryuichi."_ The girl replied again, her hands becoming entangled in the mop of brown hair her partner possessed. He had so many titles to go with his name now; Friend, Idol, Rival, Rock god, and perhaps her favorite, Lover.

"_I love you too, Shuichi."_ The male grunted, his body quickly becoming adjusted to the patterns of in and out. Unlike its romanticized ideals, being top was hard work.

It didn't even matter how much work it would be to get away from Yuki anymore. At that moment, she craved Ryuichi's touch more than any love she could have gotten out of the unemotional rock. He was perfect for her as he was. They found comfort in each other's presence and understood the other's passions. They could make love without any crying or anything painful. Ryuichi understood her needs and put them before his own.. He was a perfect gentleman.

_A perfect, sweet, kind, and handsome gentleman who always remembered her needs before his own._

Half an hour later or so, he rolled over on his side, his body consumed in sweat. He smiled at her and at the cheerily face she owned herself. Bliss, he reminded himself, was this. Nothing could have put a damper on their evening. It was perfect. She was perfect. The whole world was perfect.

And he was happy. So very happy. And she was too. All smiles.

Without passing another word to the other, they fell asleep, entangled in sheets, bodies, and love.

**Nothing** could go wrong.

**---**

A/N: DUN DUN DUN. One, two more chapters to go I think. Depends.


	7. Molten Gold

A/N: Whoops. More smut. My bad. Um. This is evil angry smut. _; My apologizes for the rape.

**---**

Nothing but **everything**.

_Hmm. So hot.._

"**Shuichi."**

She heard the rough voice before she saw his angered face. His brow had furrowed and his jaw clenched in rage, as if he had something to say. However, he knew that she understood what he so desperately wanted to spit in her face, and kept his tongue. If this action had any meaning, it would have been to show her that at least he could contain himself. AT LEAST he didn't go off sleeping with others when she took vacations from him. AT LEAST he could last a day without another's touch. AT LEAST he hadn't stomped on her heart.

The silence was unbearable.

"**Shuichi."**

He had a harsh glare in his golden eyes. They were like molten gold, intense and burning. It would have brought chills to her body if they had been on her body for a second longer. Instead, they moved to another target, a resting one. Ryuichi, to be exact.

"**Him? You couldn't have picked someone better than HIM to cheat on me with? I thought better of you."**

Her eyes moved from the standing figure to the man at her side. Ryuichi's body was facing her, his mouth slightly agape. It was then she noticed a trail of red that had ran down his cheek and pooled on the bed. Wait.. was he dead?

Twin purple eyes moved from her new lover to the old one, both held fully open. Yuki wouldn't kill again, would he? The first had been an act of protection! This was not how it was supposed to happen!

"**I bet you're thinking that I wouldn't kill again."** Eiri Yuki easily replied, studiously examining the naked girl beneath the sheets. **"The first had been protecting myself." **His lips curved up into a smile. **"But, Shuichi baby, who's to say I didn't just do that again? Protecting my interests?"**

His body had become much closer to the girl, each second bringing the two together. By the time she realized it, Yuki's hand cupped her cheek.

"**They'll just think that the whore who came in here with Ryuichi killed him, and that his two best **_**male**_** friends found his body in the morning. It's plausible and with Tohma, possible."** Yuki grinned, roughly pulling the girl's face forward. **"Well while we wait for the morning.. Let's have a little fun, Shuichi darling. You can compare our performance, eh?"**

Shoving the girl's head back into the pillow she had been resting on, the male stripped her of the covers. His hand bruising went over her small frame, pinching and ripping at her flesh with his nails. If she cried or uttered a whimper, his teeth dung into the skin around her nipples, pulling back at the delicate skin. **"Shut up whore,"** the male shouted into her ears, his tongue licking up the small dribbles of blood leaking from her wounds. **"It'll be easier for you if you just keep your trap shut."**

Her eyes were tightly held shut as she let her ex lover abuse and ravish her body. There wouldn't be anyone to save her from Yuki's torture.. Ryuichi was dead, lying next to her. And Hiro, who knows where he was at? What was the point of calling for help? Yuki might as well have ended her life too.

His hands have moved from her breasts to between her legs. It caused a break from her thoughts and the surprise brought her to squeak a sound of disapproval.

"**What? You don't like this?" **The novelist scolded. **"But isn't this what Ryuichi did for you? Stuck his fingers in you **_**this**_**?" **His hand pushed between the lips and up inside her, causing a rip in the thin skin. She cried out in pain, unable to stop the whines that followed.

"**You want more, **_**Shu-chan**_**?"** The figure harshly replied, his hand now searching the confines of his pants. He brought his manhood out, brushing his hand down the shaft to quicken its pace to hardness. **"Take this like a good girl now. If you want, you can think I'm your dead lover over there."** He licked his lips once over before crawling on top of the girl. Then the male grabbed her by the legs and shouldered them without any resistance.

She had hurt him and he was stronger anyway. There was no point in refusing Yuki when he wanted something.

While it had taken him time to pull himself out, he wasted none on thrusting into her. He roughly shoved himself against Shuichi, both hands now grabbing and pulling at her breasts. The man had a wild grin on his face, watching the pained reactions of his old lover. It made him smile to know he caused her so much pain. It made him happy to see her suffer.

"**You caused this."** He announced, just adding one last shake of salt to the wound. **"You got him killed."**

The girl had been numbly allowing the man to take over her body. She had let him bruise and break her skin without much complaint. And had even let the disgruntled lover enter her without refusal. But she had not caused this! She had done nothing! And Ryuichi had done nothing to deserve his death! If anything, it was all Yuki's fault! He had been a terrible man, a terrible lover, and a terrible person! If there was to be any bloodshed, it should have been-

"**GO TO HELL!"**

Her hands held on to air, trying to strangle the life out of nothing. It was only then that she realized it had been one terrible dream.

"**Yuki..?"** Shuichi muttered, her eyes fluttering around with panic in the darkness. The dream was just so painful; she could have thought it had been real. Nevertheless, agreeing with herself that the demon was gone, her eyes shifted to the body at her side. Ryuichi snored on peacefully, blissfully unaware of the nightmares that plagued his new lover. She gave him a soft pat on the head, soothing a few stray hairs on the top of his head to calm her own nerves. It was a terrible thought, but would Yuki resort to such violence to get back at her? This would undoubtedly be the worst betrayal in the history of humankind. Did Yuki love her enough to kill for her attention?

**---**

A/N: One more to go.


	8. Tell Me

'_..How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable  
So condescending unnecessarily critical  
I have the tendency of getting very physical  
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle..'_

_-Harder to Breathe by Maroon 5_

"**Are you sure you are okay? You look like you are going to jump out of your skin any second, Shuichi." **Ryuichi Sakuma glanced down at his lover's face, watching how the emotions flickered across her zoned eyes just as many times as she blinked.

"**A whole three months in America?" **Shuichi Shindou muttered again for what had to have been the fifth time that morning. **"You sure they can't cancel it?"**

Ryu frowned gently at her before shaking his head. **"It is only a small part. I'll be done fast enough." **He smiled then, his eyes glistening at the next thought. **"You can move in when I get back. I promise, not that long."**

She tilted her head up at him, a faint smile etched on her face. **"But that's three-"**

"**-months with Yuki?" **The older singer asked, his gaze turning intense. **"Move in with your friend then. The bastard deserves getting ditched sooner than later."**

The girl nodded, finding it hard to agree with him. The desire had left her to leave Yuki if it meant anyone would be put in harm. She might have been called selfish, but that was unacceptable. **"I'll talk to Hiro." **She wouldn't. Three months wasn't that long to live with a dream rapist, right? And when they did move in together, Yuki would never know where she went..

Pleased, Ryuichi returned his sparking sapphire eyes to the sidewalk.

"**We're here, Sakuma-san."** The girl muttered, unable to stop the snap back to calling him by his last name at the sight of Eiri Yuki's home. **"And his car is here."** She finished, her eyes examining one of Yuki's many vehicles.

He noted her blunder, but decided to leave it be for the time being. She was frightened looking, trembling actually. Should he just cancel his trip? He truly wanted to be there for her.

"**I'm going to go in." **Shuichi stated before casting a quick glance at Ryuichi. **"Three months, right? I'll be waiting." **She gave him a smile and a thumbs up before scurrying off into the house.

**---**

"**And where have you been?"** Eiri's golden eyes examined the body of his lover, his eyes uneasily moving over the bruises at the base of her neck. **"You get mugged or something? And what is with that outfit? You never dress like a girl and go out."**

"**Geez, Yuki, what's with the third degree, huh? It was a disguise from all those cameras! And why should you care? You don't even let me know where you are going half the time! What if you were with another lover?! I should be the one who asks where have you been!"**

He stared at her, unable to comprehend what shit she was spilling this time. Third degree? Other lovers? Cameras? What?

She stared back at him with a disgruntled look.

"**You sound like you are hiding something."**

"**N-noo.."** She stuttered, reflexively backing off.

Eiri Yuki advanced forward, his hands reaching out to touch his lover. **"In fact, if I wasn't right, those look like hickies."**

"**N-noo! No, they aren't!"**

His hands were against her shoulders as she knocked back against the wall. **"Have you-?"** He glared at her contemptibly, one hand sliding under her chin to tilt up and examine the marks. **"Who's touched you, Shuichi?"** Roughly pulling her head back down to stare him in the eyes, Yuki growled his next remark. **"Tell me."**

**---**

A/N: The end of this story. The start of something new? Who knows what will happen in three months?


End file.
